Single parent: Single parents are constantly under pressure that their kids miss their other Parents. Solo parenting is always stressful and hectic. One of every 10 Indian children lives in a single-parent home. Circumference may vary (divorced, widowed, by choice), but parenting challenges remain the same.
Single parents don’t ignore even the most minor things to provide for their kids, and this is because their kids should not feel the other parent’s absence.
But the most crucial step as single parents are: first, you have to come out of the situation and handle yourself, make yourself strong & try accepting the fact of your life.
Let us discuss how you can become stronger and happier before making your kid stronger. The below 7 points will bring you the clarity to know what is essential to be satisfied as a single parent.
1. Play your role instead of your spouse.
Often, the single parent tries their best to give kids all the happiness and luxury in this world. They try to be the best parent compared to those kids’ parents who have both fathers and mothers.
This can be for multiple reasons.
a. They want to prove to their kids (and sometimes to society) that they are giving their kids a better life than kids with both parents.
b. They don’t want their kids to miss the other parents.
c. They want to prove that they made the right decision of being a single parent, and more.
If you are one of them, hold your thoughts. Firstly, your kid will never compare you with other parents, and it’s all in your mind. Secondly, they only need you to spend time with them and make a beautiful memory, leaving those tiny movements that make them happier than gifting their luxurious life.
So be you, achieve your (Father/mother) role first, rather than trying to fulfill another parent role (X husband / X wife). If you are a single mother, first fulfill your role as a mother instead of running behind your career to bring luxury to a kid’s life.
2. Being a Single Parent, Treasure the movement.
Often, single parents may initially deal with financial challenges and the guilt of not providing everything their children might want. And keep themselves busy to earn more money.
Remember, your children do not wish to have expensive toys or dresses or go to summer camps. Instead, they need quality time, love, fun, and memory-making experiences. Consider free activities like walking in a park, taking pictures, preparing favorite snacks, drenching in the rain, watching cartoons, pillow fights, hide and seek, gardening, and many more activities that connect you with the kids.
They only need your quality time, presence, and affection to make a good memory.
Not the luxury life and gifts.
3. Stay Strong.
Single parents get attached to their parents very soon once separated from a spouse in most cases. As a single parent, you will know the strength of family support.
Your parents outpour their care and love for you. They don’t want you to suffer alone in the journey of life, struggling as a single parent. They are not wrong, but too much family support will make you mentally weak, and you may feel dependent, making you emotionally fragile. You will not realize when your family support makes you feel vulnerable, makes you hanging, and makes you feel helpless.
Family moral support is essential, but ensure you own your and your kid’s responsibilities. And you decide your and your kid’s future. It will make you feel more robust and more independent. You may go wrong on some steps, but that’s ok. So do all parents. But don’t lose your confidence.
Teach kids to appreciate what they have. Be grateful for whatever you have in your life. Teach your kid to be happy and thank God for the minor things they receive, such as chocolate, surprise snacks, small toys, etc.
Teaching kids to appreciate what they have is very important, instead of complaining about not having more toys to play with or places to visit for the holidays.
5. Single parents should avoid negative statements about the opposite sex.
Speaking positively about the other parent when discussing them with the child is important. Never say anything negative about the opposite sex. It is essential to ensure that children grow up seeing the positive qualities of both genders.
Things would have gone wrong between the parents, but that should not affect the relationship with the kid. The child should get an opportunity to spend time with the other spouse.
There are some exceptional cases; sometimes, you have a solid reason to keep the other parent away from the kid. But do justice to your kid, don’t be selfish.
It is very important; a child must grow up in a neutral zone. Keep the child separate from the adult’s thoughts.
6. Come Back
Yes, that is true that you had a bad experience in your life, and it won’t change. No one can do anything about the past. But your future is in your hand.
Take time to realize what went wrong, and take time to come back. Nothing wrong with getting upset about the situation you went through. Cry, and share it with the person with whom you are comfortable. Suppressing your emotions and pretending that whatever happened didn’t affect you will not help you overcome the past.
Feeling bad about your situation and sulking is good.
But once you are back, change your lifestyle. Invest in yourself, love yourself, exercise, read books, meditate, stay stylish, be you, and bring more confidence. And come back whole again and get on with your life. It will help you to up-bring your kid in a positive environment.
7. love yourself
“You, as much as anybody in the universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha.
You cannot keep your kid happy until you be happy yourself.
So often, parents make mistakes in sacrificing many things to give their family luxury or comfortable life. Nothing is wrong or right here since it depends on the individual. But taking care of yourself, loving yourself, and pampering yourself is equally important to keep yourself and your family happy.
Otherwise, you will come to such a situation that you start thinking, why did I not care for myself? And for whom I made all the sacrifices, they are busy in their world. And that time, it will be too late to react to your situation.
Friends are not always with you to cheer you up, parents’ moral support is not constant, and work does not give you all the happiness in this world. Likewise, Marriage is not everything in life. It is always a part of life. For some people, it works, and it does not work for a few.
Your happiness should always be constant, which is in your positive thoughts. Rest is taken care of automatically. Stay positive and love yourself always.