Solo parenting is always stressful and hectic. One of every 10 Indian children lives in a single-parent home. Circumference may vary (Divorced, Widowed, by choice), but the challenges remain the same when it comes to parenting.
Here are the 7 tips to bring back the joy in parenting.
1.Play your part instead of your spouse.
Often, a single parent wants to do the best things for kids and give them happiness and luxury. They try to compare their kid’s life with other kids who have fathers and mothers. They don’t realize that what is wrong and what is right. They want to be the best single parent and try to fulfill all their kids’ needs, and they always try to make sure that their kids should not miss their other parents.
If you are a single parent and feel the same, put a hold on your thoughts. The first thing is that your kid will never compare you with other parents unless a kid is a minor. Secondly, they only need you to spend time with them and make a beautiful memory, leaving those tiny movements that make them happier than gifting their luxurious life.
So be you, achieve your (Father/mother) role promptly first, rather than trying to fulfill someone else (X husband / X wife) role.
2.Treasure the movement.
Single parents may initially deal with financial challenges and the guilt of not providing everything their children might want. And keep themselves busy to earn more money.
Remember, your children do not wish to have expensive toys, dress, or go to the summer champs. Instead, they need quality time, love, fun, and memory-making experiences. Consider free activities like walking in a park, taking pictures, preparing favorite snacks, drenching in the rain, watching cartoons, pillow fight, hide and seek, gardening, and many more such activities which keep you connected with the kids.
It’s all about your feeling that providing everything to your kid will keep them happy. But believe me, all they need is your quality time, your presence, and your affection.
3. Stay Strong.
In most cases, single parents get attached to their parents once they get separated from a spouse. If you are a single parent, you will know the strength of family support. They outpour care and love. They don’t want their kids to suffer alone in the journey of life struggling as a single parent. They are not wrong, but too much family support will make you mentally weak, you may feel dependent, make you emotionally fragile. You will not realize when your family support makes you feel vulnerable, makes you dependent, makes you feel helpless. By their vibe and words, you will think that you have lost everything in your life.
Remember, family moral support is essential, but make sure that you own your kid’s responsibilities. And you decide your and your kid’s future. It will make you feel more robust and more independent. You may go wrong on some steps, that’s ok. So do all parents. But don’t lose your confidence.
Be grateful for whatever you have in your life. Teach your kid to be happy and thank God for the minor thing that they receive, for the chocolate, surprise snacks, small toys, etc. Teach kids to appreciate what they have.
Teaching kids to appreciate what they have is very important, instead of complaining about not having more toys to play with or places to visit for the holidays.
Gratitude for receiving even the smallest thing will make your kid understand that they are lucky to get whatever they receive. And it is not easy to earn. And they respect you and love you for what you do for them.
5. Avoid negative statements about the opposite sex.
Always talk positively about the child’s other parent. Never say anything negative about the opposite sex. Make sure the child has to grow up looking at the positive aspects of both the sexes. Remember, no one has the authority to keep the kid away from any parent. The things would have gone wrong between the parents, but that should not affect the relationship with the kid. The child should get an opportunity to spend time with the other spouse.
Yes, there are some exceptional cases, Sometimes you have strong reason to keep the other parent away from the kid. But do justice to your kid, don’t be selfish.
A child needs to grow up in a neutral zone. Keep child separate from the adults thought.
Yes, that is true that you had a bad experience in your life, and it won’t change.
No one can do anything about the past. But your future is in your hand.
Take time to realize what went wrong, take time to come back, nothing wrong with getting upset about the situation you went through. Cry, share it with the person with whom you are comfortable. Suppressing your emotions, pretending that whatever happened didn’t affect you will not help you overcome the past.
Being upset about what went wrong in your life is not bad.
But once you are back, change your lifestyle. Invest in yourself, love yourself, exercise, read books, meditate, stay stylish, be you, bring more confidence. And come back whole again and get on with your life. It will help you to up-bring your kid in a positive environment.
7. love yourself
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha.
You will not be able to make your kid happy till the time you keep yourself happy. So often, parents make the mistake of sacrificing a lot to give their family luxury or comfortable life. Nothing is wrong or right here since it totally depends on the individual how much they are compromising.
But taking care of yourself, loving yourself, pampering yourself is equally important to keep yourself and your family happy.
Otherwise, you will come to such a situation that you start thinking, why I did not take care of myself. And for whom I made all the sacrifices, they are busy in their world. And that time, it will be too late to react to your situation.